Bad Day
Today’s been awful. My ex, the one I gave my virginity to, did a complete 180, confessing that he loved me all the time, since sixth grade, and stuff like that. Really? I’m five days from a one year anniversary with Tom, and you come back and make me doubt my relationship with him? Make me even consider getting back together with you? That’s not okay, not on any level. And the worst part is, I actually miss him sometimes. I actually want him to come back and steal me away from Tom. What kind of person does that make me? To want so badly to sleep with someone I don’t love, just for the idea that I’ll know he never wanted to abandon me. So I’m listening to what used to be his favorite band, trying to remember what his kisses and touches used to be. I’m regretting all the times I said goodbye without even thinking about whether or not he wanted to say he loved me or not. But I can’t leave Tom. I can’t. Not for someone who walked out on me three times, only to come back each time with puppy dog eyes and a new story of apology. I want to be friends with him, but part of me wants to be more. I don’t understand why, either. I’m happy with Tom, and I love Tom. Why would Blake provide so much intrigue that I’d even think of throwing Tom’s love in his face just for a one night stand? I don’t know…I don’t understand why I feel this way. I’m lost and confused and I just want to go home and be held by my fiancé and remember why I love him…
- [AlienYouth] -
