Alien Youth

Bad Day

Today’s been awful. My ex, the one I gave my virginity to, did a complete 180, confessing that he loved me all the time, since sixth grade, and stuff like that. Really? I’m five days from a one year anniversary with Tom, and you come back and make me doubt my relationship with him? Make me even consider getting back together with you? That’s not okay, not on any level. And the worst part is, I actually miss him sometimes. I actually want him to come back and steal me away from Tom. What kind of person does that make me? To want so badly to sleep with someone I don’t love, just for the idea that I’ll know he never wanted to abandon me. So I’m listening to what used to be his favorite band, trying to remember what his kisses and touches used to be. I’m regretting all the times I said goodbye without even thinking about whether or not he wanted to say he loved me or not. But I can’t leave Tom. I can’t. Not for someone who walked out on me three times, only to come back each time with puppy dog eyes and a new story of apology. I want to be friends with him, but part of me wants to be more. I don’t understand why, either. I’m happy with Tom, and I love Tom. Why would Blake provide so much intrigue that I’d even think of throwing Tom’s love in his face just for a one night stand? I don’t know…I don’t understand why I feel this way. I’m lost and confused and I just want to go home and be held by my fiancé and remember why I love him…

• [AlienYouth] -

Bad, Bad Day

So, my ex, the one I love my virginity to, he and I were talking today, and he confessed to me how badly he wanted us to work, and how badly he wanted us to fall in love with each other. This is the guy who helped me fall in love with my fiancé, because of a stack of issues I don’t want to go into right now. But, that’s not good. :/ I’m not going back to him, never would, but our break up apparently ruined him. For meaningful relationships, for strong friendships, anything. I really hate that he did that to himself. I’m happy and he’s not.

Doesn’t help that my sister-friend started posting on Facebook that I hurt her feelings when I slept in and didn’t answer her phone call (she never called me). By the way, this girl is the reason I didn’t get straight As because she wouldn’t let me work on my final Comp paper by stealing my computer and keeping me up until four am. And I’m the one that hurt her feelings by sleeping in ON WINTER BREAK. She’s completely insane.

Lost another virginity!

Totally snuck out for the first time. Not to have sex, do drugs, or party. No. I snuck out to play Fable III. Because I fucking love that game.

Winter Break!

I did my last final of the semester this morning. Which means I’m on winter break and free for a month. Not really free since I have a class online, but I have no other obligations during this time. Sooo, basically, I’m spending the month with my boyfriend and college friends. :D

So, my boyfriend (Thomas) is pretty fantastic. I totally love him. We play video games together (which I never did with anyone else) and I even get to stay over at his house once a week. His family adores me, and his dad even invited me to go to Disney with them over the summer (I won’t have the money, but it was in the idea.) I’m over at his place as much as possible. Unfortunately, he’s still in high school, but we’ve been working out the kinks. We’ve been together for NINE MONTHS, the longest relationship I’ve ever been in. :) My parents like him, but not the way his parents love me.

So, I recently came upon some faith. And it’s a strange faith, but one I can proudly say is mine. I have a guardian: someone from another realm in the multiverse watching over me and teaching me lessons I need to know. Mine is named Derek (usually guardians are paired with the same gender charge, but since I needed a father growing up, Derek was assigned to be my guardian) and he is a wolf-shapeshifter. :) I’m so glad to have him again (he left when I was I’n fourth grade), because he’s my daddy. I will be writing the story of his late mate’s rape and death starting tomorrow, and I really hope it doesn’t hurt him…

Other than that, I don’t really have anything to say. Wishing everyone well,

• AlienYouth -

Well, haven’t been on in a while…

The title says it all. I miss blogging, kindasorta. So, I believe I’ll be back on here, although no one will be reading. Happyhappyjoyjoy.

Reminds me: today is the one year anniversary of my first @anberlin show. :D RT @bobbycampo: So stoked to see @anberlin tomorrow night!

It feels like these people have never been to the zoo. They’re amazed by the building and shit that hasn’t changed in thirty years.

I feel so great right now. My week has been made, hands down. All that shit from last week is behind us, nothing but blue skies ahead.

Re-reading the book, myself. RT @anberlin: Saw Shutter Island for the 2nd time tonight. THAT my friends, is a dang good movie…. -NY

Agreed. I want some, now. RT @JackAllTimeLow: It seems that the only day I crave Chik- Fil-A is on sundays. Religion ruines everything!